On HIATUS

For those of you who actually come to this site, I thank you! However it has come to my attention that there are some things lacking in this website.

First and foremost. There's an over abundance of needless cursing. I have come to realize this makes me look bad. I lose credibility this way.

I also lose credibility by not having my blog edited by another individual. Where typos and grammatical errors, and spell check issues go unnoticed. This is yet another credibility issue that I intend to resolve.

The other thing this site lacks are some visuals. The wheels are already in motion to rectify this. I plan on doing a little research on copyright laws regarding using images from films and television on this site. I also plan on customizing this site further beyond the limitations of the "BLOGGER" constraints.

So Stay tuned folks, We'll be back.

An Update - Lets Talk TV

I feel as though I should apologize for the lack of updates. There have been some movies worth noting recently and thus probably deserving a review. I haven't bothered to watch them. This poses a particular problem for this website as it is completely based on the active reviewing of films.

To be honest I've been lacking the will to go the Cinema. I don't mean to be this negligent of the site. Blame Hollywood for it, is what you should do!

I heard through word of mouth that M. Night Shyamalan's Devil isn't really M Knights completely. He co-wrote the film according to IMDB and it was directed by John Erick Dowdle who's also responsible for Quarantine. I heard that Devil was worth watching, but for someone reason I feel that Universal Pictures' marketing plan was flawed for implicating M. Knight's name into the film's trailer. Given especially that he was a only a co-writer for the film. Odd to me still, as this was also what turned me off from seeing it. Might be worth a rental, but we'll see.

Meanwhile, Aaron Sorkin & David Fincher collaborated to glamorize the life of Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg. The Social Network was said to be made for about $50 Million according to IMDB and has grossed only 79.5 million. I don't know about you but that's not exactly a great return on your investment if your a studio. Despite this, those that did see it seemed to have liked it. What's my opinion? I'm gonna rent it.

I don't consider myself a "Television Watcher" because I hate commercials and how they always seem louder then the show your watching (Thank God and/or Someone for TIVO). I gotta say however, there are a number of television shows that have peaked my interest and given me the hook.

First and foremost I can't wait for Showtime's Californication to comeback. It is a smart and sleezy show with a lot of attitude, guts and comical calamity that has kept me laughing for the past 3 seasons. 4/5 Xombie Heads

I generally keep myself busy with ABC's Modern Family every Wednesday. This show is as funny as it is charming. The mere fact that it boasts such a diverse cast of characters is the show's strongest quality. Definitely worth a watch and I give it 5/5 Zombie Heads

I'm Still watching re-runs of Spartacus: Blood & Sand. This show is simply bad-ass! I love the blood and gore! I love the gratuitous and unapologetic representation of Ancient Rome. It loves to rub all manners of nudity, violence, sex, and general moral chaos in your face. I might also remind you that this is Produced by Robert Tapert and Sam Raimi. The same guys who brought you the Evil Dead trilogy. 5/5 Xombie Heads

I've also been catching up on Weeds. This show is funny, however the characters don't seem to be going anywhere yet this season. They've come a long way from their original setting of Agrestic, California. Important enough as this show was supposed to be about a suburban mom who turns to selling weed to support her family after her husband dies. Since then it has turned itself upside down. 4/5 Xombie Heads

Can I just say that I am going Batshit over AMC's The Walking Dead. Not only am I a HUGE fan of the comic book series, but I fucking LOVE ZOMBIES! However it's only been 2 episodes, so I can't give it an official Xombie rating, but so far its heading for a 5/5 Xombie Heads. Let me also add that Frank Darabont (Shawkshank Redemption) is directing this. The only thing left to tell you is if they show you half of the stuff they do in the Comic, then this show is still going to be FUCKING CRAZY.

- G. Xombie

Rodriguez Shoves 'Machete' up your Ass

Machete is almost the Rodriguez version of Expendables only with way more gore, titty and gratuitous violence. Those of you who went to see Grindhouse in theaters a few years back know that Machete-the-movie originates from the fake trailer of the same name presented before Planet Terror.

Machete is co-directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis. Rodriguez who is also responsible for the Grindhouse trailer and for the cinematic collaboration with Quentin Tarantino on Grindhouse. Grindhouse is of course a double feature (Planet Terror & Deathproof) presented together by both Rodriguez and Tarantino. It was a hell of a good time if you saw it in the theater and not so much when it was separated into two DVDs. The DVD's don't include the fake trailers that premiered with the Films and the DVDs weren't even sold together.

Mentioning Grindhouse is very important to Machete. To understand the ridiculous action and style of the film, you need to know the motivation for Rodriguez and it all stems down from Grindhouse. Like Grindhouse, Machete was made in the style of the 70s B movie over-the-top action. It's also important to mention that Roriguez made the film because apparently after the Grindhouse trailer, fans were coming up to him asking to see the whole thing.

When Rodriguez makes a film, its like he's making a film with all his friends. Danny Trejo who plays the title character, Machete, has been in all of Rodriguez's films. However, this is Trejo's first time in the lead role. He's not the greatest actor, which is why he didn't say much in the film, but he plays a pretty cool bad-ass. Jeff Fahey who plays one of the bad-guys named Booth makes his second appearance in a Rodriguez Film. He's principally the main antagonist in the film based on the fact he has the most screen time. Cheech Marin, who's also a Rodriguez regular finds his way in the film as the Padre who is holier then Holy with his double shotguns.

Joblo.com describe the casting as a "WTF?!" cast because of the serious range of actors that play in the film. And ya, "What the fuck?!" is appropriate for this film. Robert DeNiro makes a Rodriguez first as the Texan Senator McLaughlin up for election. There's Steven Seagal who got some time off from being a Cop to play the Mexican drug lord Torrez and sports a terrible Mexican accent. Don Johnson also landed a part as the main border patrol dickhead. Jessica Alba makes her second appearance in a Rodriguez film since Sin City. She plays an immigration officer. Michelle Rodriguez is another hottie that plays 'SHE', a female homage to the Argentinian revolutionary 'CHE'. And just for tits and giggles, they threw in Lindsey Lohan as a cracked out whore and daughter to Booth. Not a challenging role for her, I'm sure.

The movie does have some funny and intriguing things to say about the current ethnic and political topic of Latinos in the USA. The film takes place in Texas where Border Patrol vigilantes are supported and even considered a necessity. With Arizona recently passing their controversial law regarding Latino's to have papers proving citizenry, Machete provides Latinos with a symbol against this very realistic injustice going on in the southern states today.

However, Rodriguez has some fun with this movie. Its not meant to be taken seriously at all. This is what gives Machete its charm. With all the blood, guts, titty, gratuitous violence and cheesy one liners like "Machete don't Text", its really easy to find yourself laughing. The downside is that this movie is not for everyone. If your not a fan of Rodriguez, your much less likely to enjoy this flick. However, you have to give kudos to Robert Rodriguez for having the balls and financial support to make an "R" rated film in America, and then make money with it. Nearly 90% of Hollywood productions get a PG rating so they can distribute to a wider market. This is why most films lack that extra something.

Although Machete isn't a revolutionary piece of film-making, it is one heck of show. I'll never forget the naked girl getting a phone call from her Cooter. Or Machete rappelling from one floor of a building to another using the intestines of a henchman. All I can say is that you will enjoy the fun of this movie, even if you don't enjoy the story.

3.5 / 5 Xombie Heads

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: the winner? ME!

Typically most movies that I see come out during the Hollywood-blockbuster-Summer season is usually forgettable. Even if I liked it, doesn't mean I'll see it again.

However, for the first time in a long time I went to go see Scott Pilgrim VS. The World for the second time. Its very rare for me to want to go see a film twice in theater! But honestly, I couldn't help myself. Writing this review after only seeing it once probably wouldn't do it any justice.

Needless to say, I enjoyed this movie on many different levels! Scott Pilgrim is like a mash between rock music, comic books and video games, with a hilarious love-story plot that literally knocks Scott Pilgrim on his ass. Somehow it manages to do a wonderful job of mixing in these genres for an entertaining film-going experience.

Scott Pilgrim is directed by Edgar Wright who is also responsible for such comedic splices like Shaun of The Dead; Hot Fuzz"; and even the fake Trailer for Grindhouse entitled "DON'T". After watching Scott Pilgrim, and knowing this guy's resume I am now a fan of his work! He truly brings a very interesting approach to Scott Pilgrim that transitions from scene to scene almost seamlessly. Many times you would go from a regular scene, to a dream scene back to regular scene in the Scott Pilgrim world of "Toronto, Canada" that provided a surreal atmosphere to the film.

Its not often you see an American movie set in Canada to begin with. So I was really glad to see the Toronto connection. However, since Scott Pilgrim is based on a Comic-book series, the series is probably set in Toronto anyway.

Scott Pilgrim opens up in a pretty cool way. It introduces the characters right away and explains the set up before the starting credits roll. You Learn that Michael Cera is of course Scott Pilgrim (age 22) and currently dating a 17 year-old Chinese school girl named Knives Chau, played by Ellen Wong. You learn that he's in a band called The Sex Bob-Ombs (say it fast) with his best friends, which I thought was a great name for the band given the video game context of the film. Scott introduces his girlfriend to his rock-band and they begin their rehearsal, thus starting a pretty cool credits sequence.

Then comes Ramona Flowers, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead rollerblading through Scott's dream. He would later see her in real life, and coerces her into going out with him (even though he's still dating Knives). Not too long after, Scott figures out that he's been marked for death by the League of Ramona's Seven Evil Ex's, which is headed up of course by none other than Gideon Graves played by Jason Schwartzman.

The Sex Bob-ombs land thier first gig in a Battle of the Bands that sets up the rest of the film's plot and leads up to Scott Pilgrim Fighting the "Exs".

The movie essentially sets itself up as Fighting game with a story. Every battle Scott gets into, a "VS" sign would pop up just like in Street Fighter, which was a nice touch. Part of the film's comedy was the ridiculousness of the plot. Every time Scott wins a battle the opponent turns into Quarters and Dimes thus continuing with the theme that we're watching a video game almost.

Mixed in, is the comic book style of writing the noise of certain sound effects like switching off the light and random punches. This adds to the Comic-book style of the film.

The writing is hilarious, there is a couple scenes that just make you snicker like a 12-year-old. The Pee meter scene; the scene where Scott Dives out the window trying to avoid Knives; and the part where he takes his time to tie his shoelace are all wonderfully comical moments that add to the film's overall charm.

I must mention some of the smaller roles that really add to the film. Chris Evans plays a hilarious evil Movie star Ex. Kieran Culkin not surprisingly plays the funny gay roommate. Brandon Routh plays the Vegan with psychic and kinetic powers which leads to the Vegan Police scene that is priceless!

Overall the movie was a fantastically entertaining watch, with a great cast, nice special effects and some funny moments that are classic in the making. A real original twist on the Boy-meets-Girl plot thats mixed in with Comics, video games, and rock-music.

4.5/5 Xombie Heads

This movie is gonna go into my DVD collection

The Expandables goes Boom Boom Boom.

This movie has been hyped up all summer and I have to admit, even I was looking forward to seeing it. Here we have, for the first time ever, a motley crew of over the hill action stars from the 80s, the 90s and even the... the.. 2000s. Ya. Anyway. Some of these guys aren't really actors either. But whatever, it's a cool gimmick and you almost wish they made this film 15 years ago.

How can you go wrong here? The movie itself was rated R by American Standards. So you know there's gonna be blood and guts! What more could I ask? A little titty would have been nice, and also some form of story could of helped too.

The plot is a recycled idea from the 80s that reminds me of a Chuck Norris film. One would get a sense that Stallone was trying to recapture the long lost action style of the 80s but didn't really manage to make it work.

In a nut-shell, The Expendables is about a team of old farts who do righteous odd jobs for the highest bidder. Barney Ross, played by Stallone, takes a meeting with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger who cameo in the film for maybe a total one minute of screen-time. There's a nice joke about Arnold wanting to be President in there that escapes nobody in the audience. Otherwise Arny had no purpose in the film. Willis essentially hires Stallone's Expendables to take this job overthrowing a dictator on some Central American island nation. Thus, our story begins.

Sylvester Stallone co-wrote and Directed The Expendables seemingly at our expense. He also starred in the film along with a lot of guys you wish were still in the prime. You have Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin and Randy Couture assembled in this cast. With so many names, there's hardly a way to really dive into these characters. But Sly didn't really care about building characters.

When Sly tried to get Jean Claude Van Damme for this film, all he could tell JCVD about the character was that he would be making a lot of money and go "Boom, Boom, Boom." Joblow.com reported it here (and they actually had video from a press conference but it no longer works). To be honest I don't see why he wouldn't just take the damn part and make some money. But you gotta give him credit for attempting to have integrity. But this is JCVD we're talking about here so WTF.

Jason Statham is the only action hero in this film that's still in his prime and we got a few scenes to watch him kick some generic bad-guy ass. Dolph Lundgren's character made no sense whatsoever, nor did the reconciliation at the end between him and the rest of the Expendables. Meanwhile Jet-Li provides some short-guy humor. Randy Couture cries about his cauliflower ears and Terry Crews blows people away with an automatic shotgun.

Mickey Rourke had the best scene by far in the film. He didn't have a huge role except for a monologue that really stole the show. By far the most captivating moment in the film and helped make some sense of what was a very poor excuse of a story and plot.

I gotta say The Expendables Logo was well designed (The Crow on top of a Skull). But it's almost as if Stallone cared more about how the film would look and less about how the film would play out.

All in all, this film is an action gimmick. It tricks us into seeing some cool 80s style action, meanwhile bores us with the camaraderie of the characters. The Expendables is what it is, and some people will like it and some people will hate it, I on the other hand am in between. Its a forgettable movie, and Stallone made a lot of money. Kudos to him for that, i guess. One last note watching Sly run was as humorous as it was awkward.

3/5 Xombie Heads

Full meal of Laughs at Dinner for Schmucks!

I couldn't believe how much I laughed at this film! Dinner for Schmucks killed me! I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't sure what to expect but Paul Rudd and Steve Carell have done good comedies before in the past so I gave it a chance. If you haven't guessed, I really liked this movie!

Not many people know that this film is an American remake of the french film "Le Dîner de Cons".

Directed by Jay Roach, who's responsible for Directing all the Austin Powers and the newly formed Fockers Franchise. Dinner For Schmucks was as silly as it was funny, and more in the style of Fockers then Austin Powers.

Dinner for Scmucks was full of ridiculous moments that made you feel so embarrassed for Paul Rudd's character Tim. Steve Carell has made his living playing the lovable nincompoop, and he delivers in full with his character Barry. Both complement each other very well in this movie, as Barry mistakenly throws Tim's life into a spiraling disaster.

As good as they were, it was the ridiculous supporting characters that really brought this movie to life. Zach Galifianakis for example delivers the mind-controlling putz Therman, who ends up being Barry's nemesis. The two played off each others stupidity so well that their showdown scene had the audience crying! There's one joke in the film about how Barry has trouble finding "The Clitoris" which killed me!

Who could forget Darla played by Lucy Punch. She plays a crazy-sex tigress who has been stalking Tim since before his current relationship with Julie, played by the gorgeous Stephanie Szostak. Szostak plays the perfect woman in this film, contrary to Darla who is a crazy-bitch to say the least. You get to watch Darla freak-out a few times and Carrell's "play dead" technique is ridiculously awesome!

Jemaine Clement whom some of you might know from the Flight of the Condors TV comedy, plays the self-obsessed Artist Kieran. Clement plays the narcissistic dumb-ass extremely well with his animal paintings and "artistic process".

I have to mention the lobster scene where the lady who talks to dead animals. She will make you pee your pants. The blind swordsman was classic, and even the rich Swedish man had his moments.

All-round funny cast who each added to the film's ridiculous comedy. I use the word ridiculous a lot for this review cause, that's what this movie is about. It delivers it so well, that laughing uncontrollably is the result. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least!

4/5 Xombie Heads ---

Inception - Beautifuly Conceived!

I was honestly blown away by this film. Its rich plot and well conceived story is so beautifully crafted, its no surprised that this movie attracted such a diverse and hugely talented cast.

Written and Directed by Christoper Nolan whom everyone will know as the guy who directed the new Batman movies. However he's also the guy who wrote and directed one of my most acclaimed films, Memento. Memento was nominated for an academy award for best original screenplay, and lost to Gosford Park. But don't get me started on that. Its safe to say that Nolan is becoming one of Warner Brothers' most treasured assets.

Inception is arguably Nolan's masterpeice thus far. Anyone who's seen Memento could argue the opposite but both hugely impressed me at the time of their release.

I mentioned a richly talented and diverse cast headed by none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. DiCaprio is this generation's Robert Redford. He's truly emerged as one of the best actors in Hollywood and does an excellent job proving it in this film.

In Inception DiCaprio plays Cobb a man who has the intelligence to wield a fantastic technology where you can enter the mind of another through their dreams, and ultimately discovering their deepest, darkest secrets. Stealing them for profit.

Cobb and his team attempt to do so from Saito played by Ken Watanabe (The Last Samurai), a powerful billionaire, who knows of their intent to steal from him and ultimately hires them for a job of his own. The job, is to commit inception, which is instead of stealing an idea, they implant an idea into someone. However, in order for inception to stick, the subject must believe that he conceived the idea on his own.

Cobb along with his right hand man, Arthur played by Joseph Gordan-Levitt (Third Rock from the Sun), they seek out new recruits for a new team to commit to Saito's plan. Gordan-Levitt really impressed me in this film, and has come along way from that goofy Third Rock kid.

The recruited personnel are played by Ellen Page (Juno), Dileep Rao and Tom Hardy, and aid the gang in order to commit inception in the mind of Cillian Murphy's character.

The film also casts Tom Berenger, Marion Cotillard, Pete Postlethwaite and legendary actor Michael Caine in small but hugely important roles.

I can't do this film any justice by continuing on with the plot. It's pretty complicated and equally interesting in it's execution. There are concepts in this film that echo Richard Linklater's Waking Life. Which is a film that is more of a dialogue on reality, the perception of the mind, dreams and much more. Genius stuff.

Inception is so well crafted in it's complexity and ends on such a wonderfully pleasing note. Its a mix of action, drama and has the ability to make you ponder about the complexity of dreams and reality.

Inception is easily one of the best films of the year and I wouldn't be surprised to see it hold onto that title till years-end.

A very gratifying movie going experience.

5/5 Xombie Heads

Predators - Horrifyingly fun!

I have to admit, I had been waiting for the Robert Rodriguez produced Predators all summer. I just knew seeing Rodriguez's name attached to the reboot of this once glorious Sci-fi franchise would be something completely different then the hugely disappointing Alien vs. Predator films.

Directed by Nimród Antal, Predators is a kick-back to the original Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Predator. There were so many elements to this film that paid tribute to the original, while adding to Predators' over all ambiance. They used the same original score in Predators as they did in the original. They even ended the movie with the country-rock song that Blaine plays during the chopper scene in the first Predator movie. Sadly i don't know the name of this song. I'm Guessing it's "We're gonna have some fun Tonight".

Predators even managed to improve the Infrared Predator view so you can actually see more detail. In the first film all you saw was red blur.

Lets not forget to mention that the plot of Predators is mirrored directly to the first film. A group of bad-asses are stuck in the jungle and are hunted by a Predator. However in Predators, there's obviously more then one, and the bad-asses aren't apart of a team, but a selection of bad-asses across Earth chosen to be hunted by the Predators.

The characters even make reference to the first film, but sadly ignore Predator 2, which never got its due credit. I thought it was a good follow up to the First.

The lead bad-ass is played by Adrien Brody, whom you wouldn't think would be able to pull off a bad-ass like Schwarzenegger, but does a good job in proving us wrong. Alice Braga plays the secondary bad-ass and only female role in this film. She is the one who knows about the incident in the first Predator movie. As the only female role, she did an excellent job holding her own space. You might remember her from the fantastic Brazilian film City of God.

Topher Grace, of That 70's show fame, somehow managed to get into this film as the "Doctor". I just don't like seeing this guy. Honestly, he was a piss-poor Venom in Spiderman 3, and he continued to be his usual smart-alecy self in this film. Just not a right fit. He should stick to comedic roles only.

Lawrence Fishburn also makes an appearance in this film and has a total of 5 minutes of screen time. Fishburn plays one of the hunted humans, from a previous hunt who survived this whole time on his own. This was one of the worst casts of the film. As Fishburn is a good actor, he's also gotten pretty fat over the years. His character has survived on this alien planet for about "10 hunting seasons", but somehow managed to scrounge up some McDonald's during that time.

A notable mention to Louis Ozawa Changchien who plays the Yakuza, Hanzo in the movie. Hanzo manages to find an old Samurai sword from a previous hunt, and later uses it to face off against one of the Predators in what was a pretty cool samurai showdown scene.

Danny Trejo, Rodriguez' favorite actor, who's been in just about all his films, also had some screen time. Trejo will star in the next Rodriguez's directed film Machete, which we saw a Trailer for before the start of Predators. Machete, was one of the fake trailers during the GRINDHOUSE collaboration between Quentin Tarantino and Rodriguez.

Predators as a whole, was bloody Gory and delivered suspenseful and creepy scenes while keeping us on the edge of our seats. It was a hell of a good time, and I was really glad to see this Franchise rebooted with an 'R' rating. After all, the Aliens Vs. Predator movies were both rated "PG", you can kinda guess why they weren't that successful.

In the end, Predators brought back the Nuance of the first film and delivered a horrifyingly fun movie going experience.

4/5 Xombie Heads

Jonah Hex - The Hex is on us.

So for some reason, i felt compelled to give Jonah Hex a chance, and went to go see this movie.

It was a Friday, and the Famous Players Colossus theater was typically busy as it should be on a Friday. So 10 mins left before the start, me and my cousin rush to try to get seats. It took us a few moments to realize that the actual room the movie was playing in, was the last theater at the end of the hall of this massive Colossus.

So we walk in wondering if we'll be able to grab good seats. We turn the corner and as we look up into the seating section we notice that there isn't SINGLE SOUL in this theater. This was not a good sign. To be fair, a few people did eventually walk in as the lights went down. It was a group of four tweens, and two older couples for a total of 10 people in this theater.

One couple came all the way to the back and sat in the corner of the theater. The other sat directly in front and were all cuddly kissy for the whole movie. When the lights came up at the end of the movie, the couple to our left, were doing up their pants. So you can guess why they came to "see" this movie.

I thought to myself, how can this movie be all that bad. Its staring Josh Brolin and John Malkovich! Two pretty good actors in my book. I thought they would counter-balance the typically horrid acting from Megan Fox. I wish she was a porn star. I really do. She's good looking, and shes awfully bad at acting. In fact, I've seen better acting in porn. So she would fit right in, cause she is sexy, but i don't consider that a talent.

The movie also had Will Arnett (from Arrested Development) playing the serious looking Lieutenant Grass. I could not take him seriously in this role. Its like watching Jim Carry play General Patton. Just doesn't seem like the right fit.

Ok so lets talk about this movie for a second. What a liked is how they don't waste anytime introducing the character of Jonah Hex and the hatred for General Turnbull. They talk about the Hex's power of him being able to talk to the dead in a kind of compelling way. After all this movie is based on a Comic book.

But as the story drags on we start to see ridiculous moments and plot points that reminded me of Wild Wild West. Instead of a giant mechanical spider, it was a giant canon that shot nuclear canon balls. Wow really? The old west with nuclear weapons? Not to mention the opening scene, which you do see in the trailer, was Jonah Hex shooting Gatling guns attached to his horse.

So this movie was poop with poop dressing on it.

1/5 Xombie heads

Review: Prince of Persia... with no Persians

It's no secret that Prince of Persian: Sands of time is based on the Xbox game of the same name. The Prince of Persia series has been around since the Super Nintendo and has gained even more popularity with its recent release of both movie and yet another new video game.

Jerry Brockheimer and Disney bring you this video game series on the big screen with the hopes of creating another franchise like Pirates of the Caribbean. Directed by Mike Newell, Prince of Persia Sands of time is well crafted visually and not so much in the story. In fact the visual backgrounds of the Persian castles are spectacular views on the big screen.

Ok so it's no suspension of disbelief that the concept behind the movie is about a magical dagger that was crafted by the ancient gods. What is bad about this plot is how all the elements are brought together. The movie starts out with Dastan, played by Jake Gyllenhaal, as a brave orphan who is by chance/destiny discovered by the King who adopts the boy after witnessing Dastan's bravery against his own guards. Ok great, I'll buy that. Very noble.

Flash forward 15 years later and the boy has become a Man. His Brothers (the actual sons of the King) are tipped off by some anonymous spy that nobody actually sees, that a neighboring Kingdom in Persia is selling weapons to Persia's Enemies. The King's brother Nizam, played by Sir Ben Kingsley supports the notion for war, and thus they invade the city.

This is where I get confused. The opening shot of the film is an ancient map displaying the size of the Persian Empire. So how is there another Kingship in Persia? But whatever, I'll keep going with it.

This other kingdom, is lead by Princess Tamina (of a different royal bloodline then the kings) played by Gemma Arterton who I instantly fell in love with in this movie. She was also in this summers Clash of the Titans. Easily One of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen. She was actually a nice distraction away from a lot of the inconsistencies this movie has to offer. But then again this is a 'G' rated Jerry Brockheimer production so what do you expect? But I digress. Tamina is the keeper of the magic sand dagger to which this whole movie is essentially about.

So next thing you know, the king is poisoned by wearing a cloak (somehow), and Dastan is set-up as the fall guy and he escapes with Tamina, thus throwing our story into motion.

Whats typical about Brockheimer movies is how fast characters move from a one location to another so fast. One scene where Dastan and Tamina are both at the top the Empirical tower, and the next scene they're in the basement of the tower. I understand that for the sake of the audience you have to move from location to location to move the plot along, but give me a proper transition.

Another scene is where Dastan springs an ancient booby trap and the floor begins to give way and he falls for like 50 feet before he acrobatically jumps to safety. He takes a breath, and suddenly the Hassansin (bad guy sent to hunt him) appears out of nowhere and they start fighting. At this point I was like "WTF?" How the heck did he find him 50 feet or so below where the ground used to be?

I hate it when shit just seems to happen so fast that you don't have time to absorb what you just saw. I can say this much about the climax of the movie. Without giving away the ending, it was just so far fetched that what they were trying to prevent from happening, happens and then wraps everything up for a neat little packaged, happy ending, and see you later.

Some positives to mention are some of the cinematic elements from the Prince of Persia Series from the Xbox/playstation games are present. One Scene Dastan has to figure out a way to open a gate that seems to be impossible to get to. The camera, like in the game, then plots the path that Dastan has to take to accomplish his goal. Thus Dastan follows this path. Another shot is the Eagle vision shot, where Dastan stands atop of a high roof before making a jump, and the camera pans around him showing you the depth of the scenery.

So basically if I was 8 years old, I probably would have liked the movie. There was beautiful princess. Lots of fast paced action, some cool looking shots. Too bad I'm an adult and wanted a little better conceived script then the one that was played out for us. I also would have like to see more street jumping. Like in the opening scene of Casino Royal where they do some crazy looking street jumps. Given the Prince of Persia character is this crazy agile, street jumping character. I would have done a little more to showcase this extreme new sport.

2/5 Xombie Heads on this one.

Review: Robin Hood - almost

They should have called it "Robin Longstride", or "Robin Hood: Almost", or "Robin Hood the Prequel". In fact Russel Crowe didn't even play Robert of Loxley, he played the guy pretending to be Robert of Loxley.

Now I don't know the story all that well. From what I know of this legendary tale is mostly from what I've seen in previous movies, but I don't remember any Robin or Robert Longstride. It actually got confusing because characters who thought he was Robert of Loxley are calling him Robin. Or maybe the British accent confused me into hearing Robert or Robin, I don't know.

Ridley Scott took this new Robin Hood in a different direction then I was used to by essentially setting up the Movie for a sequel (if it makes enough money). Scott tells the story before the legend begins. In fact, they fade out the film with a "And so the legend Begins".

What bothered me about the movie was that the Trailer for the film suggests that we are going to see the story of Robin Hood. The trailer shows shots of King John declaring Robin Hood an outlaw, and shots of the magistrate putting up a poster declaring Robin Hood an outlaw etc. But the film itself had very little to do with Robin being an outlaw.. Yet. I Think Russel Crowe shoots a total of 4 arrows in the movie on top of that.

Ok, so whatever the film took place before the legend of Robin Hood, I'll run with it. So then indicate that its a prequel instead of making us expect the actual tale. However, if Scott is attempting to properly tell the story, then doing it over 2 or 3 films is a good way to both make money and tell the story in detail.

The film introduces us to the principle characters. Cate Blanchett plays the lady Maid Marian, where she plays the strong willed noble woman who takes care of the people on her lands while her husband Robert Loxley is gone. There's King John played by Oscar Isaac who delivers a particularly douchebaggy and callous King. King John succeeds his much more nobler King Richard The Lionheart played by Danny Huston.

There's Robin's Merry Men, Little John played by Kevin Durand. Will Scarlet played by Scott Grimes (who you would know from the Band of Brothers HBO series) and Friar Tuck played by Mark Addy. William Hurt is also in the film as William Marshal, a nobleman who serves the Crown as a trusted adviser. Mark Strong also plays the badguy Godfrey who clearly doesn't believe in God.

I mention the cast because its a pretty good cast and everyone plays their role well. What I didn't like, which you already see in the trailer is Maid Marian going into battle like she knows what she's doing. This is a period piece, and like all period pieces they should try and stay true to the period. That being said, in no way would you EVER see a woman, especially of noble birth be allowed to go into battle, nor would she even try with her little amount of training (Although Marian did shoot a lit arrow at some thieves in the beginning). Poppers weren't even allowed to be anything more then foot soldiers let alone women allowed in the army to battle. Not to mention (Robin and Marian) kissing on the battlefield is just ridiculous. Maybe they should pay attention to the ENEMY at their backs before making out on beach soaked in blood. But that's just me.

Special mention to the film's set design and costumes, which looked pretty authentic. In fact most of that weapons and costumes looked flawless and would take a history major of the feudal period to be able to tell the difference.

Overall I'm still left with mixed feelings about the film. I liked some parts and but the battle scene at the end was just... unlikely. I wish I could explain why but I can't without essentially telling you the ending.

3/5 Xombie Heads

IRON MAN 2 WAS ROCK SOLID

IRON MAN GETS AN UPGRADE! (literally)

Those of you who are weary of Comic Book Movies, will not be able to argue just how much fun this movie was. Iron Man 2, directed by Jon Favreau, delivered its high impact action and made you laugh at the same time. Favreau also plays Starks body guard and manages to add some additional comic relief that reminded me of Bruce Campbell in the Spidey Movies.

Robert Downey Jr. delivers Tony Stark with wit, narcissism and manages to throw in a touch of nobility. He really brings this character to life. The chemistry between Gwyneth Paltrow (Pepper Potts) and Downey is good enough for you to want to see them get together.

What can you say about Mickey Rourke, this guy is on fire right now! He manages to creep you out with his demonic eyes and pulls of the Russian accent like a commie pissed off at America.

Speaking of the Russian accent, where the fuck is the Black Widow's? I know Scarlett Johansson could pull it off, but her character's role in the film's story doesn't suit the accent so it's no surprise it was dropped from the movie. I gotta say she really did look like she kicks the shit out of those guards.

I have a lot of respect for Don Cheadle. Do I think he pulled off a better performance then Terrence Howard at being Rhodey? Not really.. I don't know why they made the casting change, but either way it didn't really matter. I thought Howard had better chemistry with Downey in the first film, but once Cheadle puts on the War Machine suit you forget about Howard very quickly!

Speaking of War Machine. OMFG was it awesome! The scene (unfortunately half spoiled by the trailer) in the park where Iron Man and War Machine square off against all of the other Drones was pretty cool. It was also rather brief. I could have done without seeing it in the Trailer, and slowing down a few moments during that scene could have made it cooler.

In Fact my only beef with this movie is seeing too damn much in the trailer! I mean what the fuck Hollywood? I don't need to see the plot in the trailers! For example is the Indy car racing scene where stark goes for a ride. We know that what happens to him cause you fucking show us! You could have put a still shot of the Iron Man 2 poster as the Trailer and I would have paid to see it!

Notable mentions go to John Slattery of Mad Men fame, who plays Howard Stark for a few moments in the film. He didn't do anything fantastic in this film, but he's got a great screen presence and is a fantastic actor who unfortunately flies under the radar.

Sam Rockwell is always good at every role he plays, and almost out shined Downey as the pure narcistic asshole.

In case you guys are wondering if they managed to squeeze Stan Lee in this movie, he gets a quick cameo as Larry King (which is kinda funny when you think about it). This is obviously a trend in every Marvel movie made these days.

Another trend you might have noticed is the at the end of the credits there is a little Easter Egg scene to get your appetite wet for something else. If your a fan of the comics and want a glympse of whats coming next, DO YOUR SELF A FAVOR AND STAY TILL THE END OF THE CREDITS! IT IS WORTH IT!!! It not a long scene, but its totally worth it.

4.5/5 Xombie Heads

The Losers? Not us! Well maybe...

Some of you might not know that The Losers movie is spawned from the Vertigo Graphic Novel series. I still read comics today, but I have to admit I haven't read this one yet. I've never even heard of Vertigo or The Losers until the movie came out. But regardless, it looks like i might start to read this comic.

Directed by Sylvain White, the movie itself was a pretty fun watch. Jeffrey Dean Morgan heads up the cast as the lead with Chris Evans and the SMEXXY Zoey Saldana of Avatar fame. Although my favorite character was Cougar played by Óscar Jaenada who really didn't say much, but let his sniper rifle do all the talking. Props to Chris Evans too as was the funniest part of that whole movie. He reminds me of Ryan Reynolds for some reason.

The movie is essentially about spec-ops team who get noble and go off mission to save a bunch of children from being obliterated by an air strike. They then become targets from their own commanders for saving the children I guess. It was kinda funny to see what happens to the children after they save them. What happens next I'm sure you can guess from the trailers.

All in all the movie had a combination of witt, high octane action, and some cool gun scenes. I'm not sure if I'd buy the DVD though.

Worth a Rental, and was worth the $5.75 on cheap night I paid to go see it. I predict it will still be better then the A-Team movie which seems to have the exact same Plot.

3.5 Zombie Heads on this one.

Swimming through Disney's Oceans

I went to watch Oceans for Earth day. After all, I care about the earth. We should all care about the earth and especially our water supply. If there's one thing I believe in is that we're all connected by water. Humans, animals, life. We're all dependent upon it even though we cannot directly drink Ocean water.

The film which is presented by Disney, is directed by Jacques Perrin & Jacques Cluzaud. So many organizations are involved with this film including the European Space Agency, so I won't bother to name them all, click on the IMDB link at the top if you need to know.

The Film is narrated by Peirce Brosnan of James Bond fame. He did a great job narrating Oceans, but I was often left asking for more info on what I was seeing. They showed wonderful scenes and spectacular images, but never really explained what was happening. One scene when spider crabs faced off at the bottom of the Ocean in what look like a battle from Braveheart, but didn't explain why the crabs were fighting, or why it seemed that there were two factions of crab fighting against each other. It was f*ing crazy!

One of the most spectacular scenes was where a scuba diver was swimming alongside a great white shark like a remora fish. Truly spectacular, because I would have shit my wetsuit right there!

The obvious theme for the movie was to showcase the beauty of the ocean while lobbying awareness for the protection for the wildlife and this invaluable natural resource.

I give it 4 out of 5 Zombie Heads.