On HIATUS

For those of you who actually come to this site, I thank you! However it has come to my attention that there are some things lacking in this website.

First and foremost. There's an over abundance of needless cursing. I have come to realize this makes me look bad. I lose credibility this way.

I also lose credibility by not having my blog edited by another individual. Where typos and grammatical errors, and spell check issues go unnoticed. This is yet another credibility issue that I intend to resolve.

The other thing this site lacks are some visuals. The wheels are already in motion to rectify this. I plan on doing a little research on copyright laws regarding using images from films and television on this site. I also plan on customizing this site further beyond the limitations of the "BLOGGER" constraints.

So Stay tuned folks, We'll be back.

An Update - Lets Talk TV

I feel as though I should apologize for the lack of updates. There have been some movies worth noting recently and thus probably deserving a review. I haven't bothered to watch them. This poses a particular problem for this website as it is completely based on the active reviewing of films.

To be honest I've been lacking the will to go the Cinema. I don't mean to be this negligent of the site. Blame Hollywood for it, is what you should do!

I heard through word of mouth that M. Night Shyamalan's Devil isn't really M Knights completely. He co-wrote the film according to IMDB and it was directed by John Erick Dowdle who's also responsible for Quarantine. I heard that Devil was worth watching, but for someone reason I feel that Universal Pictures' marketing plan was flawed for implicating M. Knight's name into the film's trailer. Given especially that he was a only a co-writer for the film. Odd to me still, as this was also what turned me off from seeing it. Might be worth a rental, but we'll see.

Meanwhile, Aaron Sorkin & David Fincher collaborated to glamorize the life of Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg. The Social Network was said to be made for about $50 Million according to IMDB and has grossed only 79.5 million. I don't know about you but that's not exactly a great return on your investment if your a studio. Despite this, those that did see it seemed to have liked it. What's my opinion? I'm gonna rent it.

I don't consider myself a "Television Watcher" because I hate commercials and how they always seem louder then the show your watching (Thank God and/or Someone for TIVO). I gotta say however, there are a number of television shows that have peaked my interest and given me the hook.

First and foremost I can't wait for Showtime's Californication to comeback. It is a smart and sleezy show with a lot of attitude, guts and comical calamity that has kept me laughing for the past 3 seasons. 4/5 Xombie Heads

I generally keep myself busy with ABC's Modern Family every Wednesday. This show is as funny as it is charming. The mere fact that it boasts such a diverse cast of characters is the show's strongest quality. Definitely worth a watch and I give it 5/5 Zombie Heads

I'm Still watching re-runs of Spartacus: Blood & Sand. This show is simply bad-ass! I love the blood and gore! I love the gratuitous and unapologetic representation of Ancient Rome. It loves to rub all manners of nudity, violence, sex, and general moral chaos in your face. I might also remind you that this is Produced by Robert Tapert and Sam Raimi. The same guys who brought you the Evil Dead trilogy. 5/5 Xombie Heads

I've also been catching up on Weeds. This show is funny, however the characters don't seem to be going anywhere yet this season. They've come a long way from their original setting of Agrestic, California. Important enough as this show was supposed to be about a suburban mom who turns to selling weed to support her family after her husband dies. Since then it has turned itself upside down. 4/5 Xombie Heads

Can I just say that I am going Batshit over AMC's The Walking Dead. Not only am I a HUGE fan of the comic book series, but I fucking LOVE ZOMBIES! However it's only been 2 episodes, so I can't give it an official Xombie rating, but so far its heading for a 5/5 Xombie Heads. Let me also add that Frank Darabont (Shawkshank Redemption) is directing this. The only thing left to tell you is if they show you half of the stuff they do in the Comic, then this show is still going to be FUCKING CRAZY.

- G. Xombie

Rodriguez Shoves 'Machete' up your Ass

Machete is almost the Rodriguez version of Expendables only with way more gore, titty and gratuitous violence. Those of you who went to see Grindhouse in theaters a few years back know that Machete-the-movie originates from the fake trailer of the same name presented before Planet Terror.

Machete is co-directed by Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis. Rodriguez who is also responsible for the Grindhouse trailer and for the cinematic collaboration with Quentin Tarantino on Grindhouse. Grindhouse is of course a double feature (Planet Terror & Deathproof) presented together by both Rodriguez and Tarantino. It was a hell of a good time if you saw it in the theater and not so much when it was separated into two DVDs. The DVD's don't include the fake trailers that premiered with the Films and the DVDs weren't even sold together.

Mentioning Grindhouse is very important to Machete. To understand the ridiculous action and style of the film, you need to know the motivation for Rodriguez and it all stems down from Grindhouse. Like Grindhouse, Machete was made in the style of the 70s B movie over-the-top action. It's also important to mention that Roriguez made the film because apparently after the Grindhouse trailer, fans were coming up to him asking to see the whole thing.

When Rodriguez makes a film, its like he's making a film with all his friends. Danny Trejo who plays the title character, Machete, has been in all of Rodriguez's films. However, this is Trejo's first time in the lead role. He's not the greatest actor, which is why he didn't say much in the film, but he plays a pretty cool bad-ass. Jeff Fahey who plays one of the bad-guys named Booth makes his second appearance in a Rodriguez Film. He's principally the main antagonist in the film based on the fact he has the most screen time. Cheech Marin, who's also a Rodriguez regular finds his way in the film as the Padre who is holier then Holy with his double shotguns.

Joblo.com describe the casting as a "WTF?!" cast because of the serious range of actors that play in the film. And ya, "What the fuck?!" is appropriate for this film. Robert DeNiro makes a Rodriguez first as the Texan Senator McLaughlin up for election. There's Steven Seagal who got some time off from being a Cop to play the Mexican drug lord Torrez and sports a terrible Mexican accent. Don Johnson also landed a part as the main border patrol dickhead. Jessica Alba makes her second appearance in a Rodriguez film since Sin City. She plays an immigration officer. Michelle Rodriguez is another hottie that plays 'SHE', a female homage to the Argentinian revolutionary 'CHE'. And just for tits and giggles, they threw in Lindsey Lohan as a cracked out whore and daughter to Booth. Not a challenging role for her, I'm sure.

The movie does have some funny and intriguing things to say about the current ethnic and political topic of Latinos in the USA. The film takes place in Texas where Border Patrol vigilantes are supported and even considered a necessity. With Arizona recently passing their controversial law regarding Latino's to have papers proving citizenry, Machete provides Latinos with a symbol against this very realistic injustice going on in the southern states today.

However, Rodriguez has some fun with this movie. Its not meant to be taken seriously at all. This is what gives Machete its charm. With all the blood, guts, titty, gratuitous violence and cheesy one liners like "Machete don't Text", its really easy to find yourself laughing. The downside is that this movie is not for everyone. If your not a fan of Rodriguez, your much less likely to enjoy this flick. However, you have to give kudos to Robert Rodriguez for having the balls and financial support to make an "R" rated film in America, and then make money with it. Nearly 90% of Hollywood productions get a PG rating so they can distribute to a wider market. This is why most films lack that extra something.

Although Machete isn't a revolutionary piece of film-making, it is one heck of show. I'll never forget the naked girl getting a phone call from her Cooter. Or Machete rappelling from one floor of a building to another using the intestines of a henchman. All I can say is that you will enjoy the fun of this movie, even if you don't enjoy the story.

3.5 / 5 Xombie Heads

Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: the winner? ME!

Typically most movies that I see come out during the Hollywood-blockbuster-Summer season is usually forgettable. Even if I liked it, doesn't mean I'll see it again.

However, for the first time in a long time I went to go see Scott Pilgrim VS. The World for the second time. Its very rare for me to want to go see a film twice in theater! But honestly, I couldn't help myself. Writing this review after only seeing it once probably wouldn't do it any justice.

Needless to say, I enjoyed this movie on many different levels! Scott Pilgrim is like a mash between rock music, comic books and video games, with a hilarious love-story plot that literally knocks Scott Pilgrim on his ass. Somehow it manages to do a wonderful job of mixing in these genres for an entertaining film-going experience.

Scott Pilgrim is directed by Edgar Wright who is also responsible for such comedic splices like Shaun of The Dead; Hot Fuzz"; and even the fake Trailer for Grindhouse entitled "DON'T". After watching Scott Pilgrim, and knowing this guy's resume I am now a fan of his work! He truly brings a very interesting approach to Scott Pilgrim that transitions from scene to scene almost seamlessly. Many times you would go from a regular scene, to a dream scene back to regular scene in the Scott Pilgrim world of "Toronto, Canada" that provided a surreal atmosphere to the film.

Its not often you see an American movie set in Canada to begin with. So I was really glad to see the Toronto connection. However, since Scott Pilgrim is based on a Comic-book series, the series is probably set in Toronto anyway.

Scott Pilgrim opens up in a pretty cool way. It introduces the characters right away and explains the set up before the starting credits roll. You Learn that Michael Cera is of course Scott Pilgrim (age 22) and currently dating a 17 year-old Chinese school girl named Knives Chau, played by Ellen Wong. You learn that he's in a band called The Sex Bob-Ombs (say it fast) with his best friends, which I thought was a great name for the band given the video game context of the film. Scott introduces his girlfriend to his rock-band and they begin their rehearsal, thus starting a pretty cool credits sequence.

Then comes Ramona Flowers, played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead rollerblading through Scott's dream. He would later see her in real life, and coerces her into going out with him (even though he's still dating Knives). Not too long after, Scott figures out that he's been marked for death by the League of Ramona's Seven Evil Ex's, which is headed up of course by none other than Gideon Graves played by Jason Schwartzman.

The Sex Bob-ombs land thier first gig in a Battle of the Bands that sets up the rest of the film's plot and leads up to Scott Pilgrim Fighting the "Exs".

The movie essentially sets itself up as Fighting game with a story. Every battle Scott gets into, a "VS" sign would pop up just like in Street Fighter, which was a nice touch. Part of the film's comedy was the ridiculousness of the plot. Every time Scott wins a battle the opponent turns into Quarters and Dimes thus continuing with the theme that we're watching a video game almost.

Mixed in, is the comic book style of writing the noise of certain sound effects like switching off the light and random punches. This adds to the Comic-book style of the film.

The writing is hilarious, there is a couple scenes that just make you snicker like a 12-year-old. The Pee meter scene; the scene where Scott Dives out the window trying to avoid Knives; and the part where he takes his time to tie his shoelace are all wonderfully comical moments that add to the film's overall charm.

I must mention some of the smaller roles that really add to the film. Chris Evans plays a hilarious evil Movie star Ex. Kieran Culkin not surprisingly plays the funny gay roommate. Brandon Routh plays the Vegan with psychic and kinetic powers which leads to the Vegan Police scene that is priceless!

Overall the movie was a fantastically entertaining watch, with a great cast, nice special effects and some funny moments that are classic in the making. A real original twist on the Boy-meets-Girl plot thats mixed in with Comics, video games, and rock-music.

4.5/5 Xombie Heads

This movie is gonna go into my DVD collection

The Expandables goes Boom Boom Boom.

This movie has been hyped up all summer and I have to admit, even I was looking forward to seeing it. Here we have, for the first time ever, a motley crew of over the hill action stars from the 80s, the 90s and even the... the.. 2000s. Ya. Anyway. Some of these guys aren't really actors either. But whatever, it's a cool gimmick and you almost wish they made this film 15 years ago.

How can you go wrong here? The movie itself was rated R by American Standards. So you know there's gonna be blood and guts! What more could I ask? A little titty would have been nice, and also some form of story could of helped too.

The plot is a recycled idea from the 80s that reminds me of a Chuck Norris film. One would get a sense that Stallone was trying to recapture the long lost action style of the 80s but didn't really manage to make it work.

In a nut-shell, The Expendables is about a team of old farts who do righteous odd jobs for the highest bidder. Barney Ross, played by Stallone, takes a meeting with Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger who cameo in the film for maybe a total one minute of screen-time. There's a nice joke about Arnold wanting to be President in there that escapes nobody in the audience. Otherwise Arny had no purpose in the film. Willis essentially hires Stallone's Expendables to take this job overthrowing a dictator on some Central American island nation. Thus, our story begins.

Sylvester Stallone co-wrote and Directed The Expendables seemingly at our expense. He also starred in the film along with a lot of guys you wish were still in the prime. You have Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Terry Crews, Eric Roberts, Steve Austin and Randy Couture assembled in this cast. With so many names, there's hardly a way to really dive into these characters. But Sly didn't really care about building characters.

When Sly tried to get Jean Claude Van Damme for this film, all he could tell JCVD about the character was that he would be making a lot of money and go "Boom, Boom, Boom." Joblow.com reported it here (and they actually had video from a press conference but it no longer works). To be honest I don't see why he wouldn't just take the damn part and make some money. But you gotta give him credit for attempting to have integrity. But this is JCVD we're talking about here so WTF.

Jason Statham is the only action hero in this film that's still in his prime and we got a few scenes to watch him kick some generic bad-guy ass. Dolph Lundgren's character made no sense whatsoever, nor did the reconciliation at the end between him and the rest of the Expendables. Meanwhile Jet-Li provides some short-guy humor. Randy Couture cries about his cauliflower ears and Terry Crews blows people away with an automatic shotgun.

Mickey Rourke had the best scene by far in the film. He didn't have a huge role except for a monologue that really stole the show. By far the most captivating moment in the film and helped make some sense of what was a very poor excuse of a story and plot.

I gotta say The Expendables Logo was well designed (The Crow on top of a Skull). But it's almost as if Stallone cared more about how the film would look and less about how the film would play out.

All in all, this film is an action gimmick. It tricks us into seeing some cool 80s style action, meanwhile bores us with the camaraderie of the characters. The Expendables is what it is, and some people will like it and some people will hate it, I on the other hand am in between. Its a forgettable movie, and Stallone made a lot of money. Kudos to him for that, i guess. One last note watching Sly run was as humorous as it was awkward.

3/5 Xombie Heads

Full meal of Laughs at Dinner for Schmucks!

I couldn't believe how much I laughed at this film! Dinner for Schmucks killed me! I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't sure what to expect but Paul Rudd and Steve Carell have done good comedies before in the past so I gave it a chance. If you haven't guessed, I really liked this movie!

Not many people know that this film is an American remake of the french film "Le Dîner de Cons".

Directed by Jay Roach, who's responsible for Directing all the Austin Powers and the newly formed Fockers Franchise. Dinner For Schmucks was as silly as it was funny, and more in the style of Fockers then Austin Powers.

Dinner for Scmucks was full of ridiculous moments that made you feel so embarrassed for Paul Rudd's character Tim. Steve Carell has made his living playing the lovable nincompoop, and he delivers in full with his character Barry. Both complement each other very well in this movie, as Barry mistakenly throws Tim's life into a spiraling disaster.

As good as they were, it was the ridiculous supporting characters that really brought this movie to life. Zach Galifianakis for example delivers the mind-controlling putz Therman, who ends up being Barry's nemesis. The two played off each others stupidity so well that their showdown scene had the audience crying! There's one joke in the film about how Barry has trouble finding "The Clitoris" which killed me!

Who could forget Darla played by Lucy Punch. She plays a crazy-sex tigress who has been stalking Tim since before his current relationship with Julie, played by the gorgeous Stephanie Szostak. Szostak plays the perfect woman in this film, contrary to Darla who is a crazy-bitch to say the least. You get to watch Darla freak-out a few times and Carrell's "play dead" technique is ridiculously awesome!

Jemaine Clement whom some of you might know from the Flight of the Condors TV comedy, plays the self-obsessed Artist Kieran. Clement plays the narcissistic dumb-ass extremely well with his animal paintings and "artistic process".

I have to mention the lobster scene where the lady who talks to dead animals. She will make you pee your pants. The blind swordsman was classic, and even the rich Swedish man had his moments.

All-round funny cast who each added to the film's ridiculous comedy. I use the word ridiculous a lot for this review cause, that's what this movie is about. It delivers it so well, that laughing uncontrollably is the result. I was pleasantly surprised to say the least!

4/5 Xombie Heads ---

Inception - Beautifuly Conceived!

I was honestly blown away by this film. Its rich plot and well conceived story is so beautifully crafted, its no surprised that this movie attracted such a diverse and hugely talented cast.

Written and Directed by Christoper Nolan whom everyone will know as the guy who directed the new Batman movies. However he's also the guy who wrote and directed one of my most acclaimed films, Memento. Memento was nominated for an academy award for best original screenplay, and lost to Gosford Park. But don't get me started on that. Its safe to say that Nolan is becoming one of Warner Brothers' most treasured assets.

Inception is arguably Nolan's masterpeice thus far. Anyone who's seen Memento could argue the opposite but both hugely impressed me at the time of their release.

I mentioned a richly talented and diverse cast headed by none other than Leonardo DiCaprio. DiCaprio is this generation's Robert Redford. He's truly emerged as one of the best actors in Hollywood and does an excellent job proving it in this film.

In Inception DiCaprio plays Cobb a man who has the intelligence to wield a fantastic technology where you can enter the mind of another through their dreams, and ultimately discovering their deepest, darkest secrets. Stealing them for profit.

Cobb and his team attempt to do so from Saito played by Ken Watanabe (The Last Samurai), a powerful billionaire, who knows of their intent to steal from him and ultimately hires them for a job of his own. The job, is to commit inception, which is instead of stealing an idea, they implant an idea into someone. However, in order for inception to stick, the subject must believe that he conceived the idea on his own.

Cobb along with his right hand man, Arthur played by Joseph Gordan-Levitt (Third Rock from the Sun), they seek out new recruits for a new team to commit to Saito's plan. Gordan-Levitt really impressed me in this film, and has come along way from that goofy Third Rock kid.

The recruited personnel are played by Ellen Page (Juno), Dileep Rao and Tom Hardy, and aid the gang in order to commit inception in the mind of Cillian Murphy's character.

The film also casts Tom Berenger, Marion Cotillard, Pete Postlethwaite and legendary actor Michael Caine in small but hugely important roles.

I can't do this film any justice by continuing on with the plot. It's pretty complicated and equally interesting in it's execution. There are concepts in this film that echo Richard Linklater's Waking Life. Which is a film that is more of a dialogue on reality, the perception of the mind, dreams and much more. Genius stuff.

Inception is so well crafted in it's complexity and ends on such a wonderfully pleasing note. Its a mix of action, drama and has the ability to make you ponder about the complexity of dreams and reality.

Inception is easily one of the best films of the year and I wouldn't be surprised to see it hold onto that title till years-end.

A very gratifying movie going experience.

5/5 Xombie Heads